


If you're dumb and I'm dumb, then who's flying the broom?

by pandaspots



Series: EreJean Week 2014 [4]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Erejean Week, HP AU, M/M, OCs ahead, cute and fluff and meeting of moms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-04
Updated: 2014-04-04
Packaged: 2018-01-18 04:37:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1415356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pandaspots/pseuds/pandaspots
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Summer before the sixth year, they spend a month together. Jean learns a thing about Eren's BF prowess.<br/>Right before class he meets Eren's mom, approval ensues.</p>
<p>Written for Jeaneren Week days 4 and 5: free space and jealousy</p>
            </blockquote>





	If you're dumb and I'm dumb, then who's flying the broom?

**Author's Note:**

> neither of these things could stand on their own, so i crammed them together. they're fucking silly too  
> i promise for days six and seven the rating will go up holy shit i've never written so much gen in my life

They were slumped outside in the sun, in the small garden of Jean's house. They've been running around all summer, Eren showing Jean around the non-wizarding side of the village (so far, Jean only knew what his mom showed him, like the movies, the grocery shop, and electricity, mostly because of his muggle born father, who couldn't be assed to live _completely_ like a wizard). Both of Eren's parents were muggle-born, so he grew up going in arcades, playing muggle sports, reading muggle books, and to Jean's mom delight, he knew how to properly operate a muggle kitchen (not to his delight, though, because she had used the opportunity to give him The Talk along with Jean's sister. He had come out of it slightly panicked). They were playing a stupid game on Eren's phone, now.

 

"Hey, Eren, can I ask you a thing?"

 

"Yeah, sure?" He replied absentmindedly, crossing off a fruit.

 

"Why, all of a sudden, you suck at this dating thing?" He pokes at his boyfriend (and boy, did that word still sound weird to him), looking at him miss his third fruit.

 

"Uh... Armin used to help me, before, actually. I'm not really sure how do do stuff... with a... boy, y'know." Eren fidgeted and for the umpteenth time Jean realized just how shitty and cute his boyfriend was, and that he was probably keep pushing all this away by denying he liked him. The thought was hideous and Jean smothered it with fire.

 

"You really think I'm cute?" The cute idiot asks and  _shit, shit, shit, I said that out loud_ .

 

"I mean, you act all confident like you're the hottest shit in the block, but then someone asks something and you turn into a pile of insecurity and bunnies." He kisses the other, watching as he threw himself wholeheartedly in the task of kissing Jean silly. "But what do you mean, Armin helped?" He asked, breathless.

 

Eren blushed, and looked away, trying to restart his game but hitting a bomb.

 

"Eren."

 

"Uhhhh, I'm actually shit at this dating stuff. Mikasa said I couldn't take a girl out on purpose and get her to have fun if my life depended on it. And Armin's smart, so I figured he'd know about this. Dating, I mean." He stammered out, blushing even more furiously. His boyfriend was so stupid. Like a puppy.

 

"You're fucking adorable. I'm taking you to a Weird Sisters concert and asking you in marriage, you fucking dolt." Jean sit up, pulling Eren with him, and promptly tackling the other, kissing him and biting his lips, and just enjoying the way Eren's arms closed around him, pulling him close, until he made a noise and pushed them apart.

 

"Oh, classes start in two weeks, and mom was asking if your parents didn't want to meet up at The Leaky Cauldron. For talks. They wanted to meet you too, more... officially."

 

And Jean thought it was cool. Okay, let's meet the BF's parents, nothing major, nothing as if the world would end.

 

He was wrong.

 

Karla Jaeger was the single fussiest woman ever, and Eren was even more of a momma's boy than Jean, because he could complain all he wanted, if he didn't like half of the attention he got from his mother, he wouldn't stay close and let her, really. They were sitting on a table in the bar, Eren sipping on a fruity weird ice sorbet/juice mix, and his mother drinking firewhiskey on the rocks. Jean declined drinking anything, he was too nervous.

 

"So this is the dumpling that's gonna take my baby away." Faint 'mom!' complaint on the side.

 

"If after we finish school we still can put up with each other." He managed to say that in one, fluid sentence. He could see where Eren got it, the air of confidence that made him smaller than her, and she was a whole 10 centimeters shorter than him. She was also way scarier, because Karla's opinion on him was super important to Eren.

 

"What do you intend on doing for a living?" She asked, sipping on her glass, like it was nothing. Jean suspected this was some kind of intimidation method.

 

"Uh..." He hesitated. "I want to work in the ministry, Department of Magical Law Enforcement, in the Magical Law Enforcement Patrol, ma'am."

 

"Very polite, I like that. Also that's not very dangerous job, so I see you like being in the safer side. How are you even dating my boy?" She seemed to be musing out loud like Eren used to do in class. "My baby here's going to be an Auror, like his grandpa. Grisha was hoping he'd get into medicine, and get into St. Mungus, but he'll deal." She ruffles Eren's hair and, despite his frown, he makes a pleased noise.

 

"Uh, ma'am? Eren said once both you and his father weren't wizards, so how...--?" Eren started gesticulating wildly for him to stop talking  _right the fuck now_ .

 

"How do I know so much about the wizarding world?" Karla gave him a bitter smile. "I'm a squib, boy. Grisha lived next to my family, and he helped me get used to muggle life, but still I know a lot about the wizarding world, since my entire family is in the ministry."

 

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked, it was rude..." Jean apologized, lowering his head.

 

"No, it's okay. I'll live. I've always been a bit jealous of my brothers for being magical, I guess, but muggle life isn't so bad. Can't say I miss having to ask mom to make me popcorn. Microwaves are a blessing." She laughed. "Besides, Merlin knows what I'd do with magic, so I guess it's a good thing."

 

Eren groaned at the thought, falling face first into the table.

 

"My dad's muggle-born, and we live near the wizarding community, but not in it. He said in the community there were too much magic static, and no way he was giving up his football games." He said, smiling as well as he could.

 

"Now that's not right. The only good thing about muggle TV are the cooking shows."

 

"Jean, honey," his mom called and he turned around so fast it hurt. "Oh, I'm sorry, Karla, right? I'm Josie, Jean's mom. Don't waste your time telling him how to fold Eren's socks, he's useless." She ruffled Jean's hair, and as he faceplanted on the table, he heard Eren snorting.

 

"Oh, it's quite alright, Josie. Eren's completely useless too." It was Jean's turn to snort.

 

**Author's Note:**

> wheezes thank you for reading please leave kudos and comments, they're cookies for my writer soul uwu


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